Try humanitarian aid workers.
Humanitarian Mad Libs (fill in the blanks)
Yet again, bad times in _____ (country). Surprise, surprise. Given that _____ (number between five and ten) previous peace deals have fallen through, perhaps it was naive to assume that the _____ (name of random, medium-sized city in random third-world country) Agreements would hold.
(Then again, UN mediators and peace-building experts need work, too.)
In the meantime, renewed fighting between the _____ (four-letter acronym of rebel / insurgent group - extra point if it's MILF) and government forces threaten to push an already-precarious humanitarian situation over the edge.
In just the past _____ (number between one and four) weeks, as many as _____ (number between 500 and 5,000) civilians have been killed; another _____ (number between 50,000 and 500,000) people have fled their homes.
A UN spokesman in _____ (country) has described the situation as a "humanitarian _____ (catastrophe / crisis / disaster / shit-storm)". According to an aid worker with _____ (three or four letter NGO acronym):
"The camps are overwhelmed; the situation is even worse for those caught in the _____ (bush, inaccessible geographic feature, "no fire zone"). We're hearing that people have already started dying of _____ (cholera, hunger, thirst)."
Another aid worker added:
"The _____ (government forces, rebels, government and rebels) are shooting at anyone that tries to flee the area. We're seeing more and more civilians with _____ (gunshot wounds, shrapnel wounds, massive psychological trauma). It's a _____ (bloodbath / massacre / slaughter / shit-storm)."
The government has denied firing on civilians. According to a government spokesman: "These are our people, we are doing everything we can to save them."
Being ever-mindful of their public image, the rebels have also strenuously denied using civilians as human shields.
Those who have made it to the camps tell a different story. _____ (man's name - preferably African, Asian or Muslim), a _____ (carpenter, farmer, shopkeeper, taxi-driver) from _____ (name of completely insignificant village) reported seeing _____ (number between 5 and 10) bodies laying on the road as he fled.
"They are shooting everyone," he said. "The _____ (government, rebels) killed my _____ (family member) last week. It took us _____ (number between 1 and 5) days to reach the camp. My _____ (family member) is now very ill."
On June 6th, 2009 11:51 am (UTC), (Anonymous) replied:
I know it's sad, especially because it's so true, but such is life -- and if we can't laugh at ourselves, then it does become overwhelming.
I think we all have much to hate in our respective professions. Just this week I had to deal with people who will refuse blood transfusions for their child, people who will refuse surgical care in lieu of Homeopathy and other quackeries, and people who have showered me with hate-mails because of their irrational and vitriolic fears of posthectomies! And there is no reasoning with them because, well, reason and logic really aren't welcomed!
We have to concentrate on the people we can help, and look back at those lives we have been fortunate enough to touch and change. At times they don't seem to be so many, but they don't think so!
And a little humor always helps! Thanks! :-)