?

Log in

Tickle · the · Pear


The 'Devil' Writes Pat Robertson A Letter

Recent Entries · Archive · Friends · Profile

* * *
from the Mpls Star-Tribune via NPR:

Dear Pat Robertson,
I know that you know that all press is good press, so I appreciate the shout-out. And you make God look like a big mean bully who kicks people when they are down, so I'm all over that action.
But when you say that Haiti has made a pact with me, it is totally humiliating. I may be evil incarnate, but I'm no welcher. The way you put it, making a deal with me leaves folks desperate and impoverished.
Sure, in the afterlife, but when I strike bargains with people, they first get something here on earth -- glamour, beauty, talent, wealth, fame, glory, a golden fiddle. Those Haitians have nothing, and I mean nothing. And that was before the earthquake. Haven't you seen "Crossroads"? Or "Damn Yankees"?
If I had a thing going with Haiti, there'd be lots of banks, skyscrapers, SUVs, exclusive night clubs, Botox -- that kind of thing. An 80 percent poverty rate is so not my style. Nothing against it -- I'm just saying: Not how I roll.
You're doing great work, Pat, and I don't want to clip your wings -- just, come on, you're making me look bad. And not the good kind of bad. Keep blaming God. That's working. But leave me out of it, please. Or we may need to renegotiate your own contract.
Best, Satan
* * *
* * *
[User Picture]
On January 16th, 2010 01:48 pm (UTC), cookie_chef commented:
*laughs* Oh my.
* * *
[User Picture]
On January 16th, 2010 03:41 pm (UTC), i_saw_the_fall commented:
Now that is fantastic. I about vomited when NPR talked about how he blamed the earthquake on them kicking the French out. I just don't know how some people can be so idiotic. But this...this is great.
* * *
[User Picture]
On January 16th, 2010 03:44 pm (UTC), seegrim commented:
LOL.
* * *
[User Picture]
On January 16th, 2010 06:50 pm (UTC), wendye commented:
I've never before heard the Dominican Republic described as "prosperous".
* * *
[User Picture]
On January 16th, 2010 08:01 pm (UTC), rmurphysf commented:
Thanks, I needed that.
* * *
[User Picture]
On January 26th, 2010 11:08 am (UTC), 13oct commented:
If you ever needed proof that Pat Robertson is an idiot....

* * *

Previous Entry · Leave a comment · Share · Next Entry