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the ex factor

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As I near 40 I can look back at past romantic traumas with a more benevolent eye. (It helps too that I'm married to a great guy.) I've been thinking about two ex-boyfriends in particular. The first was someone I really loved, and then I joined Peace Corps, and everything fell apart after that. I heard his news second-hand through various layers of friends, and when his wife died unexpectedly of cancer I sent him a note, which he did not answer. Last month I walked into the local coffeehouse and I locked eyes with someone whom I thought was him, but I wasn't sure. I don't think I acted as though I recognized him. Out of curiosity I googled his name and found that he'd accepted a fellowship with a think tank a couple of blocks away. So chances are good that it really was him.

Then at the retreat in Boston I met the wife of someone I had loved in grad school. I don't know how much she knew of this relationship, and I didn't want to find out. The first morning I bumped into her and I introduced myself, and she said she'd already knew who I was because of her husband. She went on to say that every time he met someone who was investigating the church or recently converted, he would send that person the article I'd written in the Washington Post about my experience. I was really touched.

I know now that if I'd married either guy I'd be either really unhappy or divorced. They were the right person for someone else. I married the right person for me.
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On October 8th, 2008 08:21 pm (UTC), julie_dslv commented:
Then at the retreat in Boston I met the wife of someone I had loved in grad school.
For a second there I thought you were in love with the wife when you were in grad school and I was like, O_o! Hahaha I'm a retard. Way to ruin your reflective and touching post with a vulgar comment.

Srsly though, when I dare to look back at MY romantic traumas, I immediately want to look away. I guess you having found your right guy makes it easier for you reminiscing the past.
[User Picture]
On October 9th, 2008 10:31 am (UTC), ticklethepear replied:
It took a long time to get over the heartbreak - the pain has lessened but for ages I though I'd never recover. Hang in there!
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[User Picture]
On October 8th, 2008 10:59 pm (UTC), congogirl commented:
he would send that person the article I'd written
That must be a really good feeling to have.
[User Picture]
On October 9th, 2008 10:31 am (UTC), ticklethepear replied:
Re: he would send that person the article I'd written
Yeah. I never stopped thinking of him as a nice guy.
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